You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
