My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
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Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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