? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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