I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
