okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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