You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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