You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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