That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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