just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
