looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
