In America we eat man semen.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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