If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think im going to throw up on grandma
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
