honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize