Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize