Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
