hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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