I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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