just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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