Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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