Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
