My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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