They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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