I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
