where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
