why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
