ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
