He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
