rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
