well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
