butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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