is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
