Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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