Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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(512): View more from Texas

dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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(224): View more from Illinois

States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

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(631): View more from New York

It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved

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