so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
