I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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