Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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