She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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