I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
