Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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