Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
