Jerry, you need to find god
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize