I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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