that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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