pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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