I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
