she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize