we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
