i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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