I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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