evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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