There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
