if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
found the other keg... it's in the tree
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
