i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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