My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I need help removing her.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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