I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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