So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
