someone owes me an orgasm
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
