Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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