your parents love me but you hate me
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
